Today I joined 24 Hour Fitness, I am excited and nervous. My work offers a discount to join for $25 a month without an enrollment or cancellation fee. They take the fee out of may account before taxes and divide it between each paycheck so I only pay about $5 a week! It’s a great offer and I’ve been thinking about joining since they offered it in March. But I’ve been afraid to try, so I’ve taken the leap of faith and enrolled today.
My husband Scotty and I have been going walking for a few months now. We actually get up early, around 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning and walk for a WHOLE hour! Scotty has been a lot more diligent than I have, he actually is the one that wakes me up and gets me going in the morning to go walking. Some mornings I’ll sleeply and LOUDLY say “NO! I’m not going!” Then I will roll over and snuggle into my pillow. I’m ashamed to say on those mornings he goes alone :o( He’s kept at it and has already lost weight. I’ve noticed his clothes are fitting looser and you can see a difference in his face. I REALLY want that for me.
So this morning I got my lazy self up and went walking for an hour. I was proud of myself but mostly disgusted that I have let myself become so out of shape. I reflected this morning on why I’ve not tried harder and I’m finally able to admit to myself that I honestly don’t believe that I can change. I can’t imagine myself skinny and healthy. I’ve always thought of myself as chubby and I think my body is finally a real representation of what I always thought I believed I looked like. I don’t think I’ve ever REALLY put in an honest effort to try and change my unhealthy habits. It’s funny because I LOVE to read self-help books. I love to organize and purge old things and keep my home and projects just the way I like, but when it comes to my appearance, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. What I realized today, is that I’ve ALWAYS felt this way, ever since I can remember. So whether I am 100 lbs or 300lbs, it won’t make a difference in what I think until I change how I’m thinking. So I decided today was THE day to start. I need to do something and keep with it. So I set a goal to work out 3 times a week and put a REAL effort into it and see where I end up. Hopefully it’s lighter if only in my thinking :o)
Oh Sommer! You have always been soooo hard on yourself! I don't think we (as in everyone) see what you see! I think it all comes down to being HAPPY with ourselves...I struggle with the same thing. It's funny though, because I think for me I'm the happiest I've been in my life, but the most un-happiest with my body...where as a few years ago, I may have been happier with how I looked, but was not happy with my life. Somehow, we need to find some balance...a Happy medium! Good luck though...I think it's great that you're trying. I'll try with you! I think just getting ourselves moving is the first step...then seriously applying it to our lives! haha...sounds easy. I miss you and wish we were closer so we could do stuff together and just laugh at stupid things! I still laugh at that time we laughed soooo loud in "Tar-zaaaan!" We laughed exactly alike for like 20 seconds. that was soooo funny. I think Scotty thought we were losers....but it was sooo funny! haha! Miss you;0) And don't be so hard on yourself!
ReplyDeleteSommer! I love your guts and everything else you have!
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I was in a serious depression. Like, it was so bad that I probably could have got help from the medical profession if I'd asked. But, I decided that exercise was one thing I could do to help myself.
The goal that I set for myself, though, was REALLY realistic. Make sure your goal is realistic. My goal was to exercise 15 minutes or more five times a week. That "exercise" could be as simple as going to the store or mall and walking that long. Yah, make sure your goal is realistic. And keep track. Give yourself rewards each month when you do reach your goal for that month.
You are AWESOME!
Yay For you! And now that you posted about it, it makes you feel more responsible to do it b/c you told everyone! You can't go back now!
ReplyDeleteoh, and I totally stock you from Crystal's blog....if you want to stock me my blog is meredithschramm@gmail.com
....I can't even remember the last time I saw you...it has been WAY too long!