'Tis the Season for STRESS?!

I googled Christmas time stress and got the image above. It think it does a pretty good job of summing up a little of what I'm feeling right now as I experience my bi-polar Christmas season. I started the month out feeling pretty good but wasn't too much into the Christmas Spirit. I had all my supplies purchased for gifts to be made to give to my family and friends and was feeling a little blah.

Then, my friend Becky surprised me with this amazing gift of decorating my apartment for Christmas (see previous post). So all of a sudden I was downloading all my favorite Christmas songs to my ipod, buying wrapping paper and making big plans for gifts for family and friends.

This past week, the stress of all the "Homemade for Christmas" hit and the last days have been filled with late nights, early mornings and a frantic stuffing of the boxes to sent to family. On top of that I've been trying to get to bootcamp eat right (which isn't working too well) and ice and stretch my Achilles tendons- forgot to blog but I was diagnosed with Achilles Tendinitis earlier this month- yes, very ouch-y and NOT fun.... I've made several trips back and forth to the store to pick up more thread, tape and what nots. Needless to say I'm a little pooped! So once again I'm making the commitment NOW to get my gifts done by July next year and I'm waiting for Christmas to be OVER already? :o( .....what happened? This isn't what Christmas is about!.....

So late last night  I stopped around midnight to take a breather on the couch for some much needed "reflection"....I've become a big ole GRINCH! I called my friend Becky (who was also up late getting things done -what's wrong with us?!) for some guidance and realized that all the stress is self induced as  I just want so badly to make sure all the people in my life know how much I appreciate and love them. I always feel like the gifts I give are never enough and don't show how thankful I am for them. Example: I try to make homemade gifts for people like little throw blankets, but after it's finished I can see all the little flaws and almost always second guess whether or not I should give it to them in that condition, I usually end up giving it to the person but will oftentimes go out and get a gift card to go with it- sorta like an apology for the flawed gift or something.... the stupid thing is I LOVE homemade gifts and NEVER see the tiny flaws, but I don't remember that when I give gifts....hmmmm that's a little messed up.

My midnight panic attack came mainly because after mailing off my gifts to my family I thought I was at least half way done with the gifts, family- check, co-workers- check, close friends-check....but then I remembered all the people in our ward, our apartment manager and security guards, my hubby's co-workers,.....as the names of people started coming I got more and more freaked out.... There are so many good friends and members of our ward that do so much for others all year long and I haven't even gotten around to thinking of what do to for them. Last year I started early and made homemade address labels for almost all the ladies in Relief Society- so how was I gonna top THAT this year?! thus the little melt down. Becky kindly reminded me that I do stuff all year long for others and she reminded me of all the stuff I do for others which was a great reminder and I started to calm down. I need to keep it simple and others understand- it IS the thought that counts right? So I went to bed and woke up early this morning with one quick trip to Sams club before work.... Store bought cookies, candy canes and pretzels are a great way to say I'm thinking of you this Holiday Season, why get stressed out?....too bad I didn't think of this sooner...so I'll probably be up tonight filling a bunch of little bags that have to have "just right bows" - I think I might have some sort of "condition" ?(Scotty might say O-C-D).....