There is one week of January left and I haven't set any personal New Year's Resolutions yet. I weighed myself this morning and I haven't lost any weight :o( and I just don't feel motivated to set any personal goals cuz I'm worried about failing (as seems to be the case...).
I used to religiously set goals each year and would make my hubby Scotty sit down with me for at our first Family Home Evening of the Year and set "goals". Past goals were: loose weight, read scriptures, pray together daily, save money, have FHE regularly, eat desserts only once a week, limit TV time etc etc etc. I can't think of one goal from the past that I've set that I've actually stuck with. One year I made the goal to floss my teeth daily and made it till March and then stopped all of a sudden. This year seems to be all the same things I need to work on- does it EVER change?
I started Boot camp on November 1st and was going 2 times a week and actually lost 2 pounds and a few inches. But then I got my Achilles tendinitis and had to stop going. I woke up early a couple of days last month and actually swam laps in the pool for 30 minutes. I was walking about 30 minutes during lunch with a co-worker... but none of it has stuck.....and I just keep loosing momentum. This past week I've done pretty good, exercised at the gym with a friend on Saturday, went on a 4 mile hike on Monday and have been working out on the elliptical EVERY day this week for 30 minutes during my lunch break...(yeah, I'm all sweaty and have to go back to work like that)... and STILL not an ounce lost! ugh- why does it feel like everyone else can do it but me? Why don't I have the motivation or the will power? How does everyone else do it? I've spent the last couple hours looking up how to loose weight on the Internet and have actually thought about buying SEVERAL products promising fast results but I've been there before....I NEED to just eat less and exercise more! It's so simple and yet what am I doing wrong?! Why can't it be easier?
Anyway, as you can tell, I am very discouraged and am feeling that maybe I'm just meant to be fat....guess I'll just be lazy and eat what I want.......sigh....
I've been sitting here thinking about what I REALLY want in life and that is to be happy, I can honestly say today that I AM happy. Just the other day while riding the bus to work I was thinking about all the great things in my life and how thankful I am for so many blessings that I have been given. I have incredible friends and family, have a great job and husband, enjoy my ward, and even really like the people I work with. I have so many great things going and I'm a pretty organized person who has a lot going for myself but I can't seem to figure out loosing weight. I want to so badly but it just doesn't seem attainable. I was talking to someone just yesterday who lost a lot of weight and something she said was very interesting for me, she said that having the will power to overcome food is all about instant gratification.She explained that when she was heavy the instant gratification was to eat the food in front of her because she was already heavy and the additional food wouldn't make much difference. But now that she's thin, the instant gratification is to be able to fit into her jeans tomorrow and so now the instant gratification is to be careful about what she chooses to eat right now so that she can have the instant gratification of fitting in her jeans and not being uncomfortable. I thought that was REALLY interesting, as I have never thought of it that way before.
I think sometimes, I just feel that while I'm working out that "is this something I'm gonna have to do forever?" and usually the answer to myself is YES! Then I get begin to consider whether or not it's worth the effort. We watched an ESPN documentary that followed Tim Tebow and the hard work it took for him to get into the NFL and I realized that you can't be complacent in exercise and in order for you to achieve your goals you have to really really REALLY work hard to attain them- sometimes ever second of the day. So then I think I must not have a big enough desire to reach my goals- so it's back to square one...deciding NOW to make a change...so I ate a salad for lunch instead of a Hamburger and Fries...... oh yeah, and I set a few goals today....1st one on my list is to do things one small step at a time....
Again,,,I think you need to try and not be so hard on yourself. I think you are always so obsessed & worried about failing that you don't see any of the good you HAVE accomplished! Like you might check off 9 out of 10 things on your to-do list, but instead of applauding yourself for all you've done, you beat yourself up for the one thing you didn't accomplish. You are so successful at everything you do. I think you need to re-evaluate, step back and see all that you Have accomplished! I can totally relate though! But I've noticed I totally ruin any success I have had when it's not "good enough." that's when you rationalize saying, oh well it won't matter if I eat this cake or ice-cream or whatever. I think you & I should try to focus more on what we have accomplished! Otherwise we'll just be crabby, chubby, grumpy people that feel like they're never good enough! Ha;0) I miss you & wish you were closer. Then we could be competitive & eat on small plates. Haha;0) except you'd make tons of yummy things & I'd just have to eat them!! Now quit being so darn negative & enjoy your beautiful walks at the beach & endless time in paradise!!!!!!!!! We're freezing here in Antarctica!
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you talking about. I had the same goal to loose weight and never saw results! Until I started reading the suggested serving size and started following it to a T. I even bought a scale to weigh my meat. This seemed to be what I was missing.....controlling the portion size of what I was eating, plus the working out. Keep it up...sometimes you don't see the results on the scale, but on how your clothes fit or how strong you feel. I love that you can put into words how so many feel! I know the frustration you feel ...but I promise, once you find that combination of food & exercise it's magic...or physics. ha ha ha! Stay with it!
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