ugh it has been quite a month! I have been so busy non-stop and have been EXTREMELY tired!.....seriously I have fallen asleep at every moment I am not actively engaged in something....it's awful! So yeah, I'm thinking I might have sleep apnea :o( I had to go to this sleep class and am scheduled for a sleep study at the end of June....it can't come any sooner and in the meantime I am struggling to stay awake. I was in denial until a month or so ago when my hubby actually recorded me sleeping on his cellphone. I'm not and haven't ever really been a big snorer (is that a word?.....) anyway I USUALLY sleep pretty quietly but after listening to myself breathe while sleeping I am a little freaked out. What are you supposed to do when you can hear yourself actually stop and then struggle to breathe? It's pretty scary.
Anyway, I looked up some stuff online and have learned alot actually about how terrible it can be to not get enough sleep and the ramifications it can have on your body. So yeah, for now I'm blaming all my problems on sleep apnea! Ha! the good news is that if I DO have sleep apnea then there is a good fix for it...they have these breathing machines you can wear every night and then I can actually be a kind of normal person with a little real shut eye! But if I DON'T then it is REALLY gonna be horrible going thru life THIS TIRED!
I am planning to post some stuff but like I said..I've been a little tired lately and when I'm not sleeping I've actually been pretty productive. Here's what I've done this month
- Visited my sister and her cutie pie kids in Utah
-Hung out with my sister-in-law Pohai
-Planned, organized and executed a HUGE Service Project where we helped someone clean their 1 bedroom apartment.
- Worked full time
-Attended several church meetings
- Helped prepare lunch and find people to be present for a missionary lunch for the WHOLE island
-Sewed a throw blanket for my friend Becky's going away gift
- Went to 3 Pilates classes (the ones with the machines....so AWESOME and FUN!)
-Created a scrapbook for my friend Becky and her family with everyone contributing letters and stuff for a going away gift from the ward.
-Gone to a few doctor's appointments
.....and since I just got bangs cut I've actually had to at LEAST semi-fix my hair EVERY day! yeah...I'm thinking about growing them out again....but everyone keeps saying I look younger with them....hmmmm....maybe 31 is over the hill!
So while this is a super random post, I am still semi alive-part-zombie-but-still-getting-stuff-done here in good ole Honolulu.....now only to find time to go to the beach- I guess I could nap there.......;o)
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
My Handsome Handy Man Hovey
After dropping of a friend and visiting a lady from church I was on my way home when all of a sudden it sounded like there was popcorn popping under the HOOD of my car! Of course I pulled over and called my hubby who ended up being my knight-in-t-shirt-and-slippers- rushing-to-save-me-on-his-moped.
Of course he was AMAZING and looked under the hood and quickly assessed the situation. Apparently one of the belts broke and that was what I was hearing hit the bottom side of the hood. I forgot the name of the belt but its the one connected to the alternator (which I learned is what helps to keep the battery charged.) It also is somehow connected to the power steering. Anyway, the good news was that the car could still be safely driven the few blocks home. But of course I was FREAKED out and didn't want to get back inside the car. So my only other option was to ride the moped home.
I have never ridden a moped or scooter by myself EVER! When we were growing up in Tsaile, Arizona there was tons of dirt roads to drive on. My mom and dad brought my two older brothers and my dad motorcycles and since there was 3 girls and 3 boys exactly including mom and dad in our family we used to take family bike rides exploring the various trails all over the rez. It was lots of fun. We would come home windblown, sun kissed and very dirty. My brother Scott would always take me on his bike and we even crashed one time. I was so proud of myself when my husband (also named Scott) took me on his grandpa's bike for a ride when we were dating and I knew how to "lean into the corners".....yeah I guess some girls don't know how to do that! ......btw....I can also drive a stick shift! so yeah I am pretty rad hahahaha!
Anyway, so this was my first chance actually ridging a "motor bike" of sorts. (yeah, yeah it's JUST a moped....) anyway, Scotty showed me how to kick start it. Yeah KICK start it! ugh. it was awful, I had to practically completely jump on the kick start to start it (thank goodness it is automatic!). Then of course you have to give it gas. My beginning was REALLY shaky. The worst part is when ever I would freak out and grab tighter on the handle "gas peddle" thingy you go FASTER! Yeah it was a hairy and rickety ride the few blocks home, and the WORST part was going up the 3 ramps in the parking structure of our building. Then I had to get the kick stand down and that was just as bad as trying to start it up. BUT I did it! I rode the moped by myself in a dress! Yay me!........It only took me the rest of the evening to recover, but I might actually try it again....one day.
Oh I almost forgot- so what makes my hubby so handy? Well then, the NEXT day he goes and gets the belt part and FIXES the car in just a couple of hours. That is so awesome. So we got the car fixed for $7.99 instead of the $150.00 it would've taken at a garage.He is the GREATEST!
Of course he was AMAZING and looked under the hood and quickly assessed the situation. Apparently one of the belts broke and that was what I was hearing hit the bottom side of the hood. I forgot the name of the belt but its the one connected to the alternator (which I learned is what helps to keep the battery charged.) It also is somehow connected to the power steering. Anyway, the good news was that the car could still be safely driven the few blocks home. But of course I was FREAKED out and didn't want to get back inside the car. So my only other option was to ride the moped home.
I have never ridden a moped or scooter by myself EVER! When we were growing up in Tsaile, Arizona there was tons of dirt roads to drive on. My mom and dad brought my two older brothers and my dad motorcycles and since there was 3 girls and 3 boys exactly including mom and dad in our family we used to take family bike rides exploring the various trails all over the rez. It was lots of fun. We would come home windblown, sun kissed and very dirty. My brother Scott would always take me on his bike and we even crashed one time. I was so proud of myself when my husband (also named Scott) took me on his grandpa's bike for a ride when we were dating and I knew how to "lean into the corners".....yeah I guess some girls don't know how to do that! ......btw....I can also drive a stick shift! so yeah I am pretty rad hahahaha!
Anyway, so this was my first chance actually ridging a "motor bike" of sorts. (yeah, yeah it's JUST a moped....) anyway, Scotty showed me how to kick start it. Yeah KICK start it! ugh. it was awful, I had to practically completely jump on the kick start to start it (thank goodness it is automatic!). Then of course you have to give it gas. My beginning was REALLY shaky. The worst part is when ever I would freak out and grab tighter on the handle "gas peddle" thingy you go FASTER! Yeah it was a hairy and rickety ride the few blocks home, and the WORST part was going up the 3 ramps in the parking structure of our building. Then I had to get the kick stand down and that was just as bad as trying to start it up. BUT I did it! I rode the moped by myself in a dress! Yay me!........It only took me the rest of the evening to recover, but I might actually try it again....one day.
Oh I almost forgot- so what makes my hubby so handy? Well then, the NEXT day he goes and gets the belt part and FIXES the car in just a couple of hours. That is so awesome. So we got the car fixed for $7.99 instead of the $150.00 it would've taken at a garage.He is the GREATEST!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Afternoon at the movies with Auntie and Uncle
Since Scotty is an "elite" yelper, we get some awesome opportunities like getting invited to openings of new restaurants and tickets to sneak peaks of new movies before they come out. We got to see Harry Potter before it opened in Hawaii and got tickets a few Saturdays ago to see Disney's "Born to be Wild" in 3D on IMAX! We actually got 4 tickets and decided to take our nieces Analea and Olena to see it with us. We had a fun time.
It was a great experience for me to get a TINY taste of what being a mommy must be like. Lots of credit to my sister Crystal and sister-in-law Chasity and all my friends with kids.
First of all I couldn't really relax until we were sitting down in the theatre. I was worried about the girls running off or someone kidnapping them or them falling down and hitting their heads....yeah, my imagination was in overdrive thinking of all the terrible things that could happen. Talk about ANXIETY! It was a good thing Scotty was with me cuz the girls had to go to the bathroom a few times.....why is it that they can't go at the same time?! My mother-in-law is amazing that she actually takes them so often by herself. I can't imagine having to get your purse and stuff then take both girls to the bathroom only to haul them all back to their seats in the dart. At least Scotty was able to stay with one while I took the other to the bathroom.
The second thing I realized is what an amazing mother my sister-in-law Chasity is. Her girls are so well behaved and didn't wonder off or give us any problems. Olena loves to ask questions and she ALWAYS wants to know why..... her favorite question is "Why Auntie?" Ana is more quiet and likes to keep to herself, then she gets comfortable and you become her best friend.
We got the girls popcorn, mommys must have like 7 extra hands and you have to make sure everything is even. Thank goodness the theatres now have the extra box thingys so everyone has their own tray to hold. I always remember when ever we would go to the store in the winter time and the first thing we would do is all give our mom our jackets to hold while we were in the store. Yeah.....I never thought how that must have totally been a drag for her....yet she never complained...another gold star for mommies.
The experience was priceless, it is SO exciting when you see the kids faces light up. There are so many things they don't know about and they think it's cool when you show them something new. I love to get them to say "ooooh!" The baby elephants and chimpanzees were so cute and did funny things. The girls couldn't stop talking about it.
Afterwards we went to McDonalds- kids are so easy to please...and for extra brownie points for auntie and uncle the girls each got their OWN Sundae. Yeah.......we are the best!
We had the kids for only about 4 hours total and I couldn't believe how exhausted I was after. My brain hurt and my body ached. I didn't know I was so tense the whole time- I'm kinda out of practice, but you really got to pay attention and there are SO many thing you don't notice as an adult that could potentially endanger the kids.....yeah I probably overreacted a little- but last thing I wanted was to return my nieces damaged to their mommy. All in all it was a great experience and I had fun bonding with the girls.....can't wait to do some more bonding when I see my lil Tristan Bear and Chenoa Pies pretty soon......I'm gonna have to spoil them rotten.....and then give em back of course!
BTW- I can't believe the cost of IMAX 3D- if we would have paid for the tickets it would have been almost $80 for us all to go! AND that doesn't even include popcorn and drinks! The total little outing would've been at least a hundred dollars! That is INSANE!
It was a great experience for me to get a TINY taste of what being a mommy must be like. Lots of credit to my sister Crystal and sister-in-law Chasity and all my friends with kids.
First of all I couldn't really relax until we were sitting down in the theatre. I was worried about the girls running off or someone kidnapping them or them falling down and hitting their heads....yeah, my imagination was in overdrive thinking of all the terrible things that could happen. Talk about ANXIETY! It was a good thing Scotty was with me cuz the girls had to go to the bathroom a few times.....why is it that they can't go at the same time?! My mother-in-law is amazing that she actually takes them so often by herself. I can't imagine having to get your purse and stuff then take both girls to the bathroom only to haul them all back to their seats in the dart. At least Scotty was able to stay with one while I took the other to the bathroom.
The second thing I realized is what an amazing mother my sister-in-law Chasity is. Her girls are so well behaved and didn't wonder off or give us any problems. Olena loves to ask questions and she ALWAYS wants to know why..... her favorite question is "Why Auntie?" Ana is more quiet and likes to keep to herself, then she gets comfortable and you become her best friend.
We got the girls popcorn, mommys must have like 7 extra hands and you have to make sure everything is even. Thank goodness the theatres now have the extra box thingys so everyone has their own tray to hold. I always remember when ever we would go to the store in the winter time and the first thing we would do is all give our mom our jackets to hold while we were in the store. Yeah.....I never thought how that must have totally been a drag for her....yet she never complained...another gold star for mommies.
The experience was priceless, it is SO exciting when you see the kids faces light up. There are so many things they don't know about and they think it's cool when you show them something new. I love to get them to say "ooooh!" The baby elephants and chimpanzees were so cute and did funny things. The girls couldn't stop talking about it.
Afterwards we went to McDonalds- kids are so easy to please...and for extra brownie points for auntie and uncle the girls each got their OWN Sundae. Yeah.......we are the best!
We had the kids for only about 4 hours total and I couldn't believe how exhausted I was after. My brain hurt and my body ached. I didn't know I was so tense the whole time- I'm kinda out of practice, but you really got to pay attention and there are SO many thing you don't notice as an adult that could potentially endanger the kids.....yeah I probably overreacted a little- but last thing I wanted was to return my nieces damaged to their mommy. All in all it was a great experience and I had fun bonding with the girls.....can't wait to do some more bonding when I see my lil Tristan Bear and Chenoa Pies pretty soon......I'm gonna have to spoil them rotten.....and then give em back of course!
BTW- I can't believe the cost of IMAX 3D- if we would have paid for the tickets it would have been almost $80 for us all to go! AND that doesn't even include popcorn and drinks! The total little outing would've been at least a hundred dollars! That is INSANE!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
I've Started my second blog: Sommer's Secrets
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Scotty's Birthday March 27, 2011
Scotty turned 34 on Sunday. Since we've both turned 30 our birthday's haven't been as joyous as they could be since we are no longer 20-somethings. I'm not exactly sure why- I guess maybe it's because we are now real "adults" lol although we still talk about what we want to do when we "grow up"! ha!
Anyway, I didn't give any thought to what we were gonna do for his birthday( I know I am TERRIBLE!), especially since it was gonna be on fast Sunday so I couldn't make a special breakfast and we both have to be to church early for meetings and stay late for meetings etc.....so while at work on Saturday, afternoon I figured I had to do SOMETHING so I threw together a quick "party". On a whim I texted several of our friends, his mom and dad, and brother and had the great idea to have everyone over. I've been on this Pizza kick recently. I tweaked a recipe from the recipe book that came with my kitchen aid and it actually turned out pretty yummy. So I decided to have everyone over for cake and ice cream and homemade pizza.
Of course, me being me, I kept inviting people- as a side note: I don't know why I do this! Every time I have a get together I have this uncontrollable urge to invite EVERYONE! I think mainly it's because I don't get a chance to hang out with everyone all the time so I want to get to know them but then I invite tons of people and then don't have any time to talk to everyone- so it's a vicious cycle......anyway back to my story....
So I invited a bunch of people (pretty much thinking most won't be able to come), and then thought we would be able to get together in our building's party room- ugh yeah, I didn't call ahead to reserve it- but I thought we could just sneak in (yeah again, I'm TERRIBLE!). So Sunday afternoon comes around and I hear a big party going on in the party room so there was NO WAY we were gonna be able to use it. Apparently there was an Indian Festival going on and there was lots of celebrating going on down stairs.....Finally I realize that a bunch of people are gonna be showing up in a few hours to make homemade pizza in our little apartment that's about the size of a 2 car garage! So I spent the afternoon making enough pizza dough for 10 pizzas and preparing toppings and making Scotty's cake. But it actually turned out okay! We were VERY cramped but I pulled it off.
The best part was I got to enjoy everyone and eat some yummy food. I started an hour or so early and had a few pizzas already to eat when people first arrived and that helped alot. We had at least 20 people show up including Scotty's friend and his wife and baby from Law School. We haven't seen them for a while and it was really nice to catch up.
The funny thing is Scotty doesn't really like big get-togethers and he wasn't too excited about getting older, but we celebrated his birthday by having lots of people over and announcing to everyone that he's only 6 years away from being 40!
The kids who all came had drawn pictures and had pennies to give to Scotty as gifts. I think he finished the night about 22 cents richer!
I made his cake by layering chocolate cake, chocolate pudding, whipped cream and crushed oreos. It was YUMMY! I actually baked oreo pieces inside the cake which sent the yumminess over the top!
We got pretty creative with finding seating for everyone. The kitchen was a big mess. But it was fun.
Scotty's poor mom and brother ended up on the lanai (balcony for all the mainlanders)..... (notice my wonderful organizational skills for our "storage")....
We or rather I was having such a good time that I was neglecting the pizzas and the last 2 didn't come out looking that great, but they got eaten anyway and were still pretty good.
We had a fun time with everyone and I am so glad we celebrated the birth of my very favorite person in the whole world my AWESOME hubby Scotty.
BTW- I will be starting my cooking blog soon with the recipe and how to instructions for my pizza- it's actually pretty good if I don't say so myself.....stay tuned!
Anyway, I didn't give any thought to what we were gonna do for his birthday( I know I am TERRIBLE!), especially since it was gonna be on fast Sunday so I couldn't make a special breakfast and we both have to be to church early for meetings and stay late for meetings etc.....so while at work on Saturday, afternoon I figured I had to do SOMETHING so I threw together a quick "party". On a whim I texted several of our friends, his mom and dad, and brother and had the great idea to have everyone over. I've been on this Pizza kick recently. I tweaked a recipe from the recipe book that came with my kitchen aid and it actually turned out pretty yummy. So I decided to have everyone over for cake and ice cream and homemade pizza.
Of course, me being me, I kept inviting people- as a side note: I don't know why I do this! Every time I have a get together I have this uncontrollable urge to invite EVERYONE! I think mainly it's because I don't get a chance to hang out with everyone all the time so I want to get to know them but then I invite tons of people and then don't have any time to talk to everyone- so it's a vicious cycle......anyway back to my story....
So I invited a bunch of people (pretty much thinking most won't be able to come), and then thought we would be able to get together in our building's party room- ugh yeah, I didn't call ahead to reserve it- but I thought we could just sneak in (yeah again, I'm TERRIBLE!). So Sunday afternoon comes around and I hear a big party going on in the party room so there was NO WAY we were gonna be able to use it. Apparently there was an Indian Festival going on and there was lots of celebrating going on down stairs.....Finally I realize that a bunch of people are gonna be showing up in a few hours to make homemade pizza in our little apartment that's about the size of a 2 car garage! So I spent the afternoon making enough pizza dough for 10 pizzas and preparing toppings and making Scotty's cake. But it actually turned out okay! We were VERY cramped but I pulled it off.
The best part was I got to enjoy everyone and eat some yummy food. I started an hour or so early and had a few pizzas already to eat when people first arrived and that helped alot. We had at least 20 people show up including Scotty's friend and his wife and baby from Law School. We haven't seen them for a while and it was really nice to catch up.
The funny thing is Scotty doesn't really like big get-togethers and he wasn't too excited about getting older, but we celebrated his birthday by having lots of people over and announcing to everyone that he's only 6 years away from being 40!
The kids who all came had drawn pictures and had pennies to give to Scotty as gifts. I think he finished the night about 22 cents richer!
I made his cake by layering chocolate cake, chocolate pudding, whipped cream and crushed oreos. It was YUMMY! I actually baked oreo pieces inside the cake which sent the yumminess over the top!
We got pretty creative with finding seating for everyone. The kitchen was a big mess. But it was fun.
Scotty's poor mom and brother ended up on the lanai (balcony for all the mainlanders)..... (notice my wonderful organizational skills for our "storage")....
We or rather I was having such a good time that I was neglecting the pizzas and the last 2 didn't come out looking that great, but they got eaten anyway and were still pretty good.
We had a fun time with everyone and I am so glad we celebrated the birth of my very favorite person in the whole world my AWESOME hubby Scotty.
BTW- I will be starting my cooking blog soon with the recipe and how to instructions for my pizza- it's actually pretty good if I don't say so myself.....stay tuned!
Sunday, March 20, 2011
A lot can change in a few short weeks....
So around this time last month I was on such a high from working out EVERY day. I felt motivated, inspired and was making slow steady progress and actually lost 5 pounds! Today, I don't even want to look at a scale. I KNOW I've probably gained back the weight loss and then some....I can tell my clothes aren't as loose and I am feeling heavy, tired, drained and kinda down. So, once again I've crashed and burned and am left picking up the pieces to regroup and start yet AGAIN.
So what happened?
1. My work schedule changes week to week. I'm an analyst for a support department at a local Bank and our office hours are 7 days a week since the branches are open 7 days a week. We have to be available to assist the employees 30 minutes before the first branch opens and 30 minutes after the last branch closes. So our team works on a rotating schedule. For the three weeks I was working out everyday in February my schedule was Monday-Friday 10:30 am to 7:30 pm. My schedule made it easy for me to get into the gym, shower and head off to work each day. Plus we had each Saturday to plan a hike. The past few weeks my schedule changed to working 7am- 4pm on some days, 9am-6pm other days and wired hours in between working weekends with my day off during the week. So my schedule went all crazy and my work outs were the first casualty of my schedule with my meal planning becoming non-existent right after.
2. I haven't been planning my meals ahead of time so the morning times are a mad dash to the door to get to the bus stop to make it on time to work so I've been grabbing what ever I can to eat which is the stuff that is not so good for me like chips and buying what ever I can at the places around work. On Thursday night the other week we had the Tsunami watch because of the earthquake in Japan and the sirens were going off every hour all night long (and me trying not to freak out too much) that I didn't really think about packing my lunch when I had to report to work the next day at 7 am with only 2 hours of sleep.....yeah we were all zombies at work and our office called in for pizza that day and needless to say I didn't work out. On a good note- we were all prepared for the tsunami with food and water and our gas tank was full so there was no rushing to the store to buy necessities like everyone else was doing. So glad for our emergency preparedness. My in-laws and nieces were evacuated out of their area and spent the night with us and we were all thankful for being safe and protected.
3. I'm discovering that I am an emotional eater. After seeing the devastation in Japan, I am reminded of my blessings and am very thankful for the things I have in my life. The devastation puts my problems in perspective. But as I reflect on the prophecies of the last days I have to admit it gives me lots of anxiety about the unknown circumstances of the future. I see how important it is to be prepared and how having faith can overcome fear of the unknown. I've noticed that when I feel anxious or worried then I eat. My job can get stressful as I pretty much deal with problems all day. More recently I have been trying to pay attention to how I am feeling when I feel the urge to eat- it has been an interesting exercise for me as I've noticed that I want to eat almost ALL the time! Even shortly after I've eaten a filling meal. I've been keeping a little journal next to me and when I feel like eating something, I wait 10 minutes. I think about what I am feeling, where I'm feeling it and what I am thinking at the time. Most of the time I am feeling anxious or worried about something. As I wait the 10 minutes and deal with what I'm feeling the desire to eat usually subsides and I can continue on my day. I'm noticing that I am more aware of my urges and try and give myself time to think about what is the real issue going on. However, when you are obsessing about the fresh made brownies a co- worker has brought to work sometimes it's easier to just eat the food to get the obsession over with. These small moments are helping me to work harder at "eating to live rather than living to eat" which is challenging and brings me to my next point....
4. Weight loss is more mental than physical.Pretty much all day long, I have this little voice inside my head reminding me of all the ways that I fall short.Of all the things I havent' accomplished and all the ways in which I don't measure up. I just finished this awesome book called "Women Food and God" where the author talks about this "inner voice". While I don't really care for some of the language Geneen Roth uses in her book, I appreciate the great points that she brings across about how our relationship with food can be a reflection on how we feel about ourselves and how we view our relationship with God.
While there has been some great discussion about where the inner voice comes from, some say traumatic experiences, parents etc. I personally feel that it is part of over coming the natural man and women within us. Most likely the voice comes from past experiences that we've somehow internalized but I think it's also a manifestation of our deepest darkest fears mixed in with lies that the adversary would like us to believe. I think that this internal voice can either be a driving force to make us better or we can allow it to debilitate us. I'm realising that I've developed a habit over the years of listening to my doubts and fears which I think I've been interpreting as permission to allow myself to give up. With the excuse that I can't change or I'm unable to lose weight. I've allowed myself to loose focus and have let life distract me which then creates a domino affect causing all the hard work I've put in to come crashing down around me. I've stopped keeping track, stopped planning my exercise and food and thus have foolishly tried to not be accountable to ME! ugh....it's time to wake up and start doing what I know I need to be doing.....
What am I gonna do about it?
1. Plan plan PLAN! I want to be diligent in preparing each day before the next. I SHOULD be able to do this. I don't have any small children and I just have to worry about me and my hubby. I'm gonna try harder starting now to not procrastinate so much. I read a tip recently to keep yourself motivated to exercise is to schedule to exercise on your busiest day of the week and commit to do it. Then you'll prove to yourself that if you can exercise on a busy day you should be able to every other day.
2. Be honest with myself. No one has ever forced me to eat something I didn't want to eat. I've put this weight on myself one bite, and one lazy moment, one unhealthy choice at a time. Yes there is DEFINITELY chemistry, hormones and emotions involved. But I have the choice to do with my life what I want to or in other words I have the choice of what to put in my mouth and what physical or non-physical activities to participate in. Heavenly Father has given me this beautiful body to use but it comes with areas that I need to tame and discipline which in the long run will bring me joy. One thing I've learned is that overeating does NOT bring happiness. You might enjoy the moment but once it's gone, you are either uncomfortably full and disgusted at yourself or both. I went to dinner with a friend a few weeks ago to this Italian restaurant that serves fresh made and UNLIMITED Bread balls dripping with garlic and butter.....
I couldn't stop putting them in my mouth!!!! ACTUALLY (in Honesty) I chose to gorge myself on them cuz they just tasted so yummy and I wanted to keep eating them. I ended up so sick to my stomach that I couldn't fall asleep then ended up in a carbohydrate coma that resulted in a puffy-faced-sore-tummy-me-that-had-to-go-to-work-at-7am-in-the-morning me. Don't even get me started on how many trips to the bathroom were needed the next day! ugh...why did I ever do that to myself? Yeah a few butter garlic balls is great but you CAN have too much of a yummy thing!
3. Be kind to myself. I am NOT perfect! No one is! Each moment that passes by I am given a chance to change how I was even a second ago. I need to embrace those moments and allow myself to change. To remind myself of what is really important. Because old habits die hard I need to show patience and love to myself as I would a close friend.
4. Keep starting over. Just because I "messed up" doesn't mean that I blew it and that there is no way back. I can start over beginning now. I'm trying to break my habit of saying "I'll start again tomorrow or when such and such happens...." and instead say "I'm going to start NOW to.....".
5. Seek out motivation and stay positive. I LOVE watching the Biggest Loser. It is so motivational. I love talking to my friends and family who are so supportive. Reading other people's blogs and seeing how others have overcome their daily struggles is AWESOME and helps me remember that I am not alone in my day-to-day struggles as I know we all have them. I love reading success stories and finding new ways to reach my goals. However, I've watched everyone else and have thought "Wow, they are amazing....I can never be like that...." I need to stick with it and train myself to see the good in myself and hopefully little by little I'll start to believe in myself. Easier said than done....I totally know....so I need to......
6. Pray. I am so grateful for my parents and family and the church for teaching me that no matter what, Heavenly Father is always there. I can talk to Him anytime, any place and He is there. The last couple of weeks, with my schedule getting so crazy with life happening, I've forgotten my daily chats with Heavenly Father. Most importantly I need to remember to schedule my time with Him mainly because it will help ME. Geneen Roth talks about meditation in her book and I always thought that would be so cool to be one of those people who gets up early in the morning to sit quietly and reflect on the meaning of life with my legs crossed and eyes closed. I love the idea of emptying your mind and allowing peace to flow into you, but if you know me it's amazing when I'm paying attention long enough to figure out what you're saying as I'm pretty much on the go ALL THE TIME.
But I forget that praying IS meditating. Heavenly Father is willing to listen to all my jabbering until I can get it all out. He has the patience to listen without interrupting and wait for me to figure out the things I'm thankful for and to recognize the blessings in my life and then he allows me to ask Him for all the desires of my heart. And EVERY time, EVERY day and EVERY moment He actually blesses me! The blessings may not come in the time or form I want but it's what I NEED. Those quiet moments with Him help me to figure it all out and I find that I can read all the self help books I can, write all the plans out that I am physically able but it doesn't come close to being able to place my burdens at His feet. He and Jesus Christ LOVE me and want me to be happy. They have provided a way for me to restart my journey over and over through the choices I make each day and have given me the tools I need to succeed. It is so simple so why does it seem so hard sometimes? Guess I better keep praying :o)
So what happened?
1. My work schedule changes week to week. I'm an analyst for a support department at a local Bank and our office hours are 7 days a week since the branches are open 7 days a week. We have to be available to assist the employees 30 minutes before the first branch opens and 30 minutes after the last branch closes. So our team works on a rotating schedule. For the three weeks I was working out everyday in February my schedule was Monday-Friday 10:30 am to 7:30 pm. My schedule made it easy for me to get into the gym, shower and head off to work each day. Plus we had each Saturday to plan a hike. The past few weeks my schedule changed to working 7am- 4pm on some days, 9am-6pm other days and wired hours in between working weekends with my day off during the week. So my schedule went all crazy and my work outs were the first casualty of my schedule with my meal planning becoming non-existent right after.
2. I haven't been planning my meals ahead of time so the morning times are a mad dash to the door to get to the bus stop to make it on time to work so I've been grabbing what ever I can to eat which is the stuff that is not so good for me like chips and buying what ever I can at the places around work. On Thursday night the other week we had the Tsunami watch because of the earthquake in Japan and the sirens were going off every hour all night long (and me trying not to freak out too much) that I didn't really think about packing my lunch when I had to report to work the next day at 7 am with only 2 hours of sleep.....yeah we were all zombies at work and our office called in for pizza that day and needless to say I didn't work out. On a good note- we were all prepared for the tsunami with food and water and our gas tank was full so there was no rushing to the store to buy necessities like everyone else was doing. So glad for our emergency preparedness. My in-laws and nieces were evacuated out of their area and spent the night with us and we were all thankful for being safe and protected.
3. I'm discovering that I am an emotional eater. After seeing the devastation in Japan, I am reminded of my blessings and am very thankful for the things I have in my life. The devastation puts my problems in perspective. But as I reflect on the prophecies of the last days I have to admit it gives me lots of anxiety about the unknown circumstances of the future. I see how important it is to be prepared and how having faith can overcome fear of the unknown. I've noticed that when I feel anxious or worried then I eat. My job can get stressful as I pretty much deal with problems all day. More recently I have been trying to pay attention to how I am feeling when I feel the urge to eat- it has been an interesting exercise for me as I've noticed that I want to eat almost ALL the time! Even shortly after I've eaten a filling meal. I've been keeping a little journal next to me and when I feel like eating something, I wait 10 minutes. I think about what I am feeling, where I'm feeling it and what I am thinking at the time. Most of the time I am feeling anxious or worried about something. As I wait the 10 minutes and deal with what I'm feeling the desire to eat usually subsides and I can continue on my day. I'm noticing that I am more aware of my urges and try and give myself time to think about what is the real issue going on. However, when you are obsessing about the fresh made brownies a co- worker has brought to work sometimes it's easier to just eat the food to get the obsession over with. These small moments are helping me to work harder at "eating to live rather than living to eat" which is challenging and brings me to my next point....
4. Weight loss is more mental than physical.Pretty much all day long, I have this little voice inside my head reminding me of all the ways that I fall short.Of all the things I havent' accomplished and all the ways in which I don't measure up. I just finished this awesome book called "Women Food and God" where the author talks about this "inner voice". While I don't really care for some of the language Geneen Roth uses in her book, I appreciate the great points that she brings across about how our relationship with food can be a reflection on how we feel about ourselves and how we view our relationship with God.
What am I gonna do about it?
1. Plan plan PLAN! I want to be diligent in preparing each day before the next. I SHOULD be able to do this. I don't have any small children and I just have to worry about me and my hubby. I'm gonna try harder starting now to not procrastinate so much. I read a tip recently to keep yourself motivated to exercise is to schedule to exercise on your busiest day of the week and commit to do it. Then you'll prove to yourself that if you can exercise on a busy day you should be able to every other day.
2. Be honest with myself. No one has ever forced me to eat something I didn't want to eat. I've put this weight on myself one bite, and one lazy moment, one unhealthy choice at a time. Yes there is DEFINITELY chemistry, hormones and emotions involved. But I have the choice to do with my life what I want to or in other words I have the choice of what to put in my mouth and what physical or non-physical activities to participate in. Heavenly Father has given me this beautiful body to use but it comes with areas that I need to tame and discipline which in the long run will bring me joy. One thing I've learned is that overeating does NOT bring happiness. You might enjoy the moment but once it's gone, you are either uncomfortably full and disgusted at yourself or both. I went to dinner with a friend a few weeks ago to this Italian restaurant that serves fresh made and UNLIMITED Bread balls dripping with garlic and butter.....
3. Be kind to myself. I am NOT perfect! No one is! Each moment that passes by I am given a chance to change how I was even a second ago. I need to embrace those moments and allow myself to change. To remind myself of what is really important. Because old habits die hard I need to show patience and love to myself as I would a close friend.
4. Keep starting over. Just because I "messed up" doesn't mean that I blew it and that there is no way back. I can start over beginning now. I'm trying to break my habit of saying "I'll start again tomorrow or when such and such happens...." and instead say "I'm going to start NOW to.....".
5. Seek out motivation and stay positive. I LOVE watching the Biggest Loser. It is so motivational. I love talking to my friends and family who are so supportive. Reading other people's blogs and seeing how others have overcome their daily struggles is AWESOME and helps me remember that I am not alone in my day-to-day struggles as I know we all have them. I love reading success stories and finding new ways to reach my goals. However, I've watched everyone else and have thought "Wow, they are amazing....I can never be like that...." I need to stick with it and train myself to see the good in myself and hopefully little by little I'll start to believe in myself. Easier said than done....I totally know....so I need to......
6. Pray. I am so grateful for my parents and family and the church for teaching me that no matter what, Heavenly Father is always there. I can talk to Him anytime, any place and He is there. The last couple of weeks, with my schedule getting so crazy with life happening, I've forgotten my daily chats with Heavenly Father. Most importantly I need to remember to schedule my time with Him mainly because it will help ME. Geneen Roth talks about meditation in her book and I always thought that would be so cool to be one of those people who gets up early in the morning to sit quietly and reflect on the meaning of life with my legs crossed and eyes closed. I love the idea of emptying your mind and allowing peace to flow into you, but if you know me it's amazing when I'm paying attention long enough to figure out what you're saying as I'm pretty much on the go ALL THE TIME.
But I forget that praying IS meditating. Heavenly Father is willing to listen to all my jabbering until I can get it all out. He has the patience to listen without interrupting and wait for me to figure out the things I'm thankful for and to recognize the blessings in my life and then he allows me to ask Him for all the desires of my heart. And EVERY time, EVERY day and EVERY moment He actually blesses me! The blessings may not come in the time or form I want but it's what I NEED. Those quiet moments with Him help me to figure it all out and I find that I can read all the self help books I can, write all the plans out that I am physically able but it doesn't come close to being able to place my burdens at His feet. He and Jesus Christ LOVE me and want me to be happy. They have provided a way for me to restart my journey over and over through the choices I make each day and have given me the tools I need to succeed. It is so simple so why does it seem so hard sometimes? Guess I better keep praying :o)
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Happy 169th Birthday Relief Society!
I regret to say that when ever there is an upcoming Relief Society Activity, I usually can't wait to get it over with.....ugh....that's so awful to say but it's kinda true.....mainly becuase it takes so much planning and preparing and the several days leading up to the activity I am so worried that it won't turn out just right. However, yesterday we had our Week Day Relief Society meeting and it was tons of FUN! AND I actually enjoyed it!!! I think it went off so well because so many ladies were involved and it was a collective effort which turned out REALLY successful.
We began by having a get-to-know you activity where we divided up into pairs and gave little mini interviews to get to know one another and as a sneaky way for us (the presidency) to find out what people are interested in. Then we had a spiritual message and then several different sisters shared thier hobbies and interests with us.
It's interesting that when we were planning this activity and asking various sisters to help we had to avoid asking them to share their “talents”. Rather we called them their “interests and hobbies”. Why is it that we get so afraid to admit that we have talents? Why is being “humble” mean to some that you can’t be truthful about it is that you can do. Yes we each have various skills and abilities that no one else has, yes we can do some things better than others, yes it is a gift given to us by our Heavenly Father. So why is it so hard to say we have a talent? Why are we afraid of sharing something that doesn’t really belong to us?
In our mini interviews, one question was: What do you admire most about your best friend? This question was so easily answered. Each person had so many things to say about their best friend and what they admire about their best friend. Another question was Name 1-2 things you are good at doing. This question was so hard to answer. After lots of coaxing several ladies finally admitted some of the things that they could do. When reflecting on this I noticed that I have a hard time naming the talents that I have been given. It’s hard for me to admit I have a “talent” because when I hear the word I think of talented people who are gifted writers, musicians, singers etc etc and it’s hard for me to classify myself with “those” people. It is so much easier for me to say that I have interests in various subject or I like to do various things. Having a talent seems to mean to me that you are accomplished in that area and have no more room for growth. I can’t think of anything that I do that couldn’t improve.
As each of the ladies got up to speak about their interests and hobbies, I was so inspired. The sisters each came from various backgrounds, were different ages , looked differently and all were interested in different things. Yet they were each fascinating in their own individual way. It was incredible and almost overwhelming to try and match their awesome skills. As I saw more and more what each of the sisters were capable of I felt less and less worthy to be counted among them. Isn’t that CRAZY?! We each have been given at least ONE gift from Heavenly Father and while we can’t always readily admit those gifts that we have been given they are REAL. Our abilities were not given to us to judge one another by but for us to have joy and for us to share with one another.
Instead of comparing myself to the other talents of the sisters, I should see the potential I have in having such great friends that I can learn from. And maybe…..just maybe….I might have a little something to share with them.
We have been given instant friends at Relief Society with who we can enjoy and learn from. I am learning more and more that there really is no need that cannot be fulfilled through my friendships found among the sisters in my Relief Society, and to think of all the years I wasted thinking Relief Society was just a club for old ladies! Ha! how naive I’ve been. As I have been the Relief Society President for the last 3 years in my ward I have learned and gained a testimony that there are BLESSINGS from service. There are lots of things I would rather not do, like clean the church toilets when it’s our turn to do ward clean up. But as I attend the various activities, meetings and service opportunities I truly am blessed and get so much more from the small sacrifice I’ve made. Yesterday, I just wanted to get the activity over with so I didn’t need to stress out about it so much, yet, I learned so much through the experience.
We ended the night with several yummy food dishes that other sisters brought to share. One of the sisters who shared her new-found talent of crocheting made each of us a tissue cover that we all got to take home. Relief Society activities aren’t there for us to “get them over with” but rather opportunities to serve, be served, fellowship with one another and to have some FUN! Mission accomplished.
(check out the MakikiSisters blog to see more pictures in a couple days)
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