Hoku gets Prescription Glasses December 17, 20013

One of the biggest complications Hoku developed as a micro preemie was ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity). She underwent lazer eye surgery to sever the blood vessels that could cause blindness. The ROP affected her peripheral vision and her eye sight has been monitored regularly since the operation. We were told that she most likely would need to get prescription glasses at a young age....I just didn't realize that she'd need them shortly after turning 1 year old.

On December 17th we picked up her glasses. We had such a tough time finding infant glasses that would comfortably fit her. She is so tiny and her eye lashes are SO long that they kept hitting all the lenses of the pairs we'd try on. We ended up selecting these slightly over-sized raspberry colored ones that attach with a little elastic in the back.

In case you're wondering: yes she does take them off, yes she doesn't like to wear them, and yes she has already popped the lenses out a few times. Some days are better than others and we've seen a difference in her motor skills and attention already. The glasses hopefully will improve the astigmatisms she has in both eyes.

The experience has been bitter sweet for me. I am so grateful that there is technology today to help her to see the world around her. Soon after putting on her glasses she seemed so mesmerized by everything. I'm sure for the first time she could see all the little tiny details that I as a non-glasses wearing person take for granted.

 Shortly after taking this picture and posting it on facebook I went into the bathroom and cried.

I can't exactly explain why or put to words the feelings that overcame me as I watched my little one year old explore the new world around her. A deep sadness enveloped me as it does every so often and I can't help but wonder "if only....". In the quiet moments of life, I can't help but wonder if there was something more I could have done to make Hoku's life easier or to have kept the babies in longer so Nahoa and Helakoa would be here with me today. I am so worried about any lasting affects on her health and hold my breath when ever another test is done or we complete another visit to the doctor's office.

It really is a miracle that our little baby weighing 1 lb 4 oz and born at 24 weeks continues to thrive so abundantly. I am so grateful for Hoku Bear and the joy she brings me. I'm sad that she already has to grow up sooner than other babies but am so happy that she is here with us. We have been so blessed and the words from her very first father's blessing are coming to pass- she really is a beacon and light to others and shows her mommy everyday how strong she really is. She is my star shining brightly.